Thoughts during a massage

stream of consciousness while melting

image found on Pinterest

*becomes aware of thoughts*

You know what, I deserve this.

These next 85 minutes are mine.

I’m going to relax.

I’m going to shut off my brain.

I’m glad I’m not too hungover.

Shoot, I have to tell her the left side of my body is sensitive and that I’m going to flinch a lot.

Need to make sure she knows that it’s not her fault.

I need to get some sort of test done to find out why just the left side of my body is sensitive.

THANK GOD I shaved my legs.

Wait this could be a fun newsletter idea.

I have so much to do this week.

I wonder what she’s thinking about right now.

I wonder what she thinks about my body.

She’s seen so many bodies.

I wonder where she learned to do this.

Do her hands hurt doing this?

I think I’m pretty good as giving massages, but I also think I have some sort of early onset arthritis. 

Does cracking your knuckles lead to arthritis?

I have to look this up later.

I wonder if she’ll see the bruises on the back of my legs from my body roller.

I looked it up and body rollers cause bruises from breaking up scar tissue or something like that.

I wish my thoughts were being funnier right now.

Oh my god.

I can feel the knots and lactic acid disintegrating. 

I wonder if she can smell last night’s alcohol. 

Crap, I forgot to check on Violet and Scout this morning.

I wish I could shut my brain off. 

Oh my god.

Whatever she’s doing right now is some sort of muscle unknotting witchcraft. 

This music sounds like the Yellowjackets soundtrack during the forest scenes.

Ok, time to flip over to my stomach.

I really have to pee.

Remember that episode of That’s So Raven? When she went to the spa to see that singer?

And she went under the massage table?

I think Debra Wilson was the guest star in that episode. I loved her on MadTV. And Bobby Lee, too.

And now he’s on And Just Like That.

Ooooo new Euphoria episode tonight.

Don’t forget that you have to drink so much water after this.

I wonder what I’m going to have for lunch…

Ok this part hurts a bit, I’ll tell her.

Oh my god. I am melting into this bed.

Wait, what is she doing now?

It’s over?

God no please do not let this be over.