Before we begin, dear reader, you may have already read this piece on my blog (if you didn’t know, I have blog! Check it out! Subscribe!). I’ve felt compelled to post a re-edited version of it here because a.) it’s a topic I’m passionate about and could talk about ad nauseam b.) because of the recent events with Real Housewives of Dallas (RHOD) cast member Kameron Westcott and her treatment towards fellow cast member Dr. Tiffany Moon, who is a Chinese woman (more on this later) and c.) I neglected to include important details in the original post.
Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the future of the show and how it fits into today. And at the same time, I read writer Brian Moylan’s Top 100 Most Unhinged, Unexplainable, Unforgettable Real Housewives Moments, which reinvigorated my love for them. It’s a complicated, sticky relationship.
Below you’ll find the original contents of the essay, with additional thoughts. Enjoy!
As a teen, anytime I heard my parents walking down the basement stairs, I would quickly change the channel before the piercing voice of Teresa Giudice reached their ears. But it was always too late, and I knew what was coming next.
“Why do you watch that crap? Go read a book. Remember you used to be such a good reader?”
It was true, I was a voracious reader. But in high school, when I discovered the world of Vicki Gunvalson and heard the infamous “You have a little family van,” my interests shifted just a bit.
For nearly 15 years, The Real Housewives franchises have induced eye rolls, scoffing, mockery and judgement. But if we’re looking at it through the lens of the modern zeitgeist, they’ve transformed and have immensely influenced pop culture; it changed that landscape forever.
The Real Housewives has long been a source of comfort for me. Like a bowl of hot ramen on a cold day, those ladies have continued to soothe my soul. If I had a bad day, I could at least revel in the fact that someone didn’t call me a “slut pig” or accuse me of “doing crystal meth in the bathroom” during my poorly organized game night. The gaudy fashion, complete lack of self-awareness and witty one liners fed a part of me I didn’t know was hungry. The show offers a level of escapism which, especially during the pandemic, has been most welcomed. Much like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Real Housewives can often be used as background noise, something to cut the silence and distract your mind, all while scrolling simultaneously on your phone.
Or perhaps it takes on a more impactful role in your life. Consider the social aspect of meeting someone new and soon discovering you have a shared interest. I can’t begin to tell you how many connections I’ve formed for a mutual love of quoting “Wow Bethenny wow.” The entertainment of The Real Housewives extends beyond the show itself, and is expanded upon on social media and podcasts. In 2015 on my public blog, I wrote a love letter to Bravo (some of the opinions expressed here have since changed). And podcasts like Comments by Celebs: Bravo Edition make me feel like a more intelligent consumer of pop culture.
This post wouldn’t be complete without mentioning some of the sticker aspects of the show. Long gone are the days of a seemingly genuine cast moments. Will we ever receive another Scary Island? Most likely not (of course not, it was too iconic to ever be replicated). The ladies who have been on the show for years now know their character roles and are often playing to the audience, and the newcomers have a better understanding of the game (especially if they’ve already been fans of the show).
I would be remiss to not mention the show has at least learned to acknowledge – more recently that is, as older episodes are very out-of-touch – social and racial injustices, domestic abuse, LGBTQ+ issues and more. That is certainly not to say that these ladies are the pillars of social justice, but at least we can appreciate they’re not shying away from it, with some housewives using their platforms even more to advocate for change.
Let’s consider the topic of race on The Real Housewives. Most recently on a RHOD reunion, cast member Kameron Wescott tried to “educate” (read with sarcasm) fellow cast member Dr. Tiffany Moon, a Chinese woman, on her own race. You can watch this for yourself if you’d like. I remember watching it mouth agape in astonishment at the ignorance Kameron displayed, although I shouldn’t have been surprised. It didn’t end there, and Kameron’s husband also took it upon himself to attack Dr. Moon on Twitter (read more on that here). While this may seem like tabloid fodder, it speaks to a much larger issue that goes beyond reality television.
It’s important to also acknowledge that recent cast members who have been added to casts of franchises who have all been predominately white, are women of color. Dr. Moon appeared on RHOD after another cast member, Brandi Remond, posted a racist video mocking Asian people. We have to wonder if Dr. Moon was brought on to educate a group of white women - which is not her responsibility to do.
Writer Ineye Komonibo highlighted in an article for Refinery 29 that the rules for Black women on reality television are different. These women are held to a higher standard than their white counterparts. Consider if Teresa Giudice, who famously flipped a table, was a Black women - how would that moment have been perceived then?
Komonibo writes,
“Our internalized pressure to breathe excellence is a learned response to years of racist and sexist establishments that position Black femininity as inherently inferior. We see examples of this in almost every system — in the corporate world, in schools, in religious organizations, across politics (for politicians and constituents alike), in the economy, in the media. Misogynoir shows up everywhere, and as a result, Black women are conditioned to always put our best foot forward.”
Finally, let’s also remember that it may be perceived that The Real Housewives plays into stereotyping women. However, if we look at it through a feminist perspective, that might be viewed different. We’ll save this for a future post.
SO in all of this mess, what is my stance?
The Real Housewives have kept me sane and happy during the pandemic. They’ve given me something to look forward to every week, for months on end. When I’m doing “not well bitch,” I can always turn on a rerun. It’s given me the opportunity to connect and re-connect with friends. And yes, I do believe you can be an intelligent human being and still indulge in trash reality TV. Am I able to observe The Real Housewives with a critical eye and appreciate the absurdity? Absolutely. Do I acknowledge the contrived drama of it all? Of course, although I’d prefer not to. As with many of my coping mechanisms that help me through the daily horrors of the world, I wonder if they’re genuinely healthy. Not that it really matters to me at the end of the day. I will continue to snuggle into my bed, covers up to my chin, while watching the latest episodes.
The Real Housewives has a lot of work to do, and we can no longer ignore the racial inequalities and issues that are presented. And there are many more examples of issues that need to be addressed on the shows that I haven’t covered here today. I highly recommend reading The Reckoning at Bravo and Real Housewives by Anne Peele for more on this.
So to my fellow Bravo fans - I would love to hear your thoughts? What do you think the future of the show lies?
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