As a subscriber you have the distinct pleasure of invading my grade school diaries. Last year, I began a new blog called Exposing My Diary. On the website, I was revisiting my multiple diaries and poetry books from grade school through high school. Writing them down word for word (for the most part), I began sharing my most innermost 12-year-old thoughts.
Why, you may ask? Simply enough, one day I just felt like it. I wanted to explore the past (at the risk of becoming nostalgic) and my old writings. It’s going to get awkward. It’s going to get cringey (and I simply can’t emphasize this enough).
Join me in this awkward exploration of first heartbreaks, ~emo~ poetry, mean girls, self-doubt and discovery, as we pick up where we left off, in August of 2005. We begin with a poem I wrote at the age of 14, when the hormones were raging and love was new...
Every Night
A poem by me (duh)
Every night you're in my dreams
Any every night my heart rips by the seams
Every night as the minutes fly by,
I think about you and wonder why,
Every night you're not with me.
Every night it's you I see
It's so passionate, so real
This love can touch you and make you feel
But how do I let you know?
I don't want to let you go.
This feeling of belonging, this feeling of trust.
A feeling of comfort, a feeling of lust.
So every night as I remember how hard I fought,
Every night you are my last thought <3
8-12-05
Yoo. I just got back from my first performance of Footloose! Talk about amazing times! I messed up a couple times, but the play went amazing. I love Chelsea and Meesh and Aimee, I <3 the whole cast! We have three more shows left! I'm so sad. I'm gonna miss all the people I met this summer. But I'm gonna see Chelsea at our brother's soccer games. That's sweet.
This was the best summer of my life. Amazing, amazing times at Footloose. I'm really gonna miss Joe & Andrew LOL. Man, I wish I went to school with these guys. They made this more of an amazing summer then me and my friends had ever imagined. Ever. Yea, I'm gonna miss those kids so much. I'm gonna cry when we have the last show. Ahh sweet times.
Yea so, right now I'm listening to Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill (I got it at the mall yesterday with Colleen). This CD is 10 years old but I <3 it. She's an amazing singer. My fav song is "Head Over Feet." Well, I'm goin to bed now. Tomorrow Jackie, Emily and me are goin out before Jackie goes back to college. 'Nite nite.
ISN'T IT IRONIC??
8-15-05
Hey well, Footloose is over :( I shall miss Meesh, Chelsea, Sharkey, Andrew, Joe, Kyle, Chritine, Nikki, Vinny, Aimme, and everyone else. This was the best summer of my life. The hard thing about writing it down is that you remember all the good times you've had. It's sad
Well, last night's performance was so funnie. I've never laughed harder. Well, when Phil came out after "The Girl Gets Around," he handed Jamie this huge bundle of clothes when he said, "Your mother thought you might be cold." It get's funnier. When Chris came out and started yelling, he threw a chair and screamed like the Hulk. It's one of those moments where you had to be there. But the play went great.
Then I went to the cast party at Christine's on her trampoline when it started raining, so we dance in the rain. Many laughs. I love those kids <3
By the way, I saw Marissa! Haha, that girl is amazing. At the very beginning of the play, she yelled my name and kept making me laff. I can't wait to see her again at dance.
The good thing about doing the play was that it kept me in shape for dance. I'm excited for dance to start again. So today, I lazed around the house. Then I went to guitar and singing. I learned some complicated stuff in guitar about whole and half steps, and god knows what notes. It looked like this....
A+B-C+D+E-F+G+A
_________________
W | H | W | W | H | W | W
... It was a bit confusing. When it came time for singing, my voice was a wreck because I screamed so much last night, so me and Kat took it easy on my voice. So later today Colleen came over. We took some, um, interesting pictures. We were "embracing" nature. Hehe. I cant wait to get those pictures developed. Then we rode scooters which I haven't done in the longest time. Scooters are my favorite to ride. So Coll left, and my mom and me went for a walk. A mile . My legs ache a little bit which is pretty sad. Ok, so I saved the best news for last. Ok ready, I'm...... going...... to...... see..... (countdown)....
GREEN DAY
Yes! I am going to the concert! I'm more than excited. Ahhhh, I get to see Billie Joe in person! And the seats are amazing!
It's something unpredictable, but it the end it's right. I hope you've had the time of your life.
I have.