Do labels limit us, or help us?
While chatting over coffee with a friend recently, she began telling me of a book she had just finished: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear. She explained that the book described how we identify ourselves influences our actions and how we live our lives. For example, if I habitually bite my nails, I would refer to myself as a nail biter. But I could change that habit by changing my identification by saying/thinking I am not a nail biter. This could apply to many things, such as saying "I'm not a morning person," or "I'm not a runner." Now I have not read this book (and probably won't TBH), so I will take her word on this description.
While the book focuses on habits, she mentioned it also touches on how we define and label ourselves:
From James Clear's website: "What you repeatedly do (i.e. what you spend time thinking about and doing each day) ultimately forms the person you are, the things you believe, and the personality that you portray."
I mean, I don't disagree with that, do you?
I had originally began drafting this post on my public blog a few weeks ago, but decided this was more suited for a Patreon post. I began the post like this:
Public relations professional
Penn State alum
Blogger/writer
Musical theater lover
Daughter, cousin, sister
Girlfriend
Concert-goer
Little Monster (yea you know I love Gaga ;) )
These are some of the typical labels I assign myself in social media bios, or in telling people about myself. We love to label; label to our relationships, identities, personalities. Labels provide a sense of comfort. We can put ourselves into neat little boxes, and we do the same for others. They help us make sense of the world and our place in it.
A "personal brand" is another form of identification or labeling. This could be in the form of a certain color palette ("I need that hot pink shirt, that's my brand color"), to even food or drinks ("I only drink Malbec, it's my brand"). Before you roll your eyes at this, think of a time you've probably said something similar.
Labels can also control us. Yes, control is a strong word. But labels and titles establish hierarchies, and can keep us too tightly in our neat little boxes. When we hold closely onto these self-identifies, and when they inevitably slip away or transition into something else, how do we handle that?
When we begin to lose a label, do we then lose a part of ourselves? I am no where near the retirement age (unless I suddenly become very affluent in the near future), but will I lose a part of myself when I can no longer label myself by my career? Will I suffer an identity crisis because I can't tie identity to something anymore? I HAVE QUESTIONS WHICH NEED ANSWERS!
When I was searching for some scientific research of labeling (we like to back up our thoughts here), one notion that often appeared was - "When we label ourselves, do we limit ourselves?". This could be true. But if you examine the teaching of Mr. Clear above, when decide to chose to label ourselves, it may also set us free of certain negative or bad habits.
If you Google "Why do we label ourselves," you will find countless articles on the pros and cons of the topic. It's up to you to make a decision for yourself.
The idea of "labeling" has my head spinning, and I would love to know your thoughts. I have not yet come to a conclusion but what do you think - do labels limit us, or help us?