My photo from Penn State bid day 2014
It’s ok, I would roll my eyes, too. “Here it is, the inevitable think piece by a former sorority girl on the Bama rush TikTok,” you’re probably thinking.
If you’re on TikTok it’s likely that the University of Alabama’s sorority recruitment - or rush - graced your phone screen. We followed the journey of several young women as they documented their experience in the Greek life recruitment process, from the earrings purchased at The Pants Store, to the borderline-serving-camp-esque dresses from SHEIN (this will be the first and last time I’ll ever use “camp” and “SHEIN” in the same sentence). We also witnessed the grandeur and pomp of preparation of each sorority - or house - as they prepared to dazzle and impress potential new members (PNMs).
Bama Bid Day has since come and gone. We cheered when Sidnee received a bid to Delta Gamma (the sorority I joined) and lamented when Makayla didn’t receive a bid. The TikTok audiences collectively experienced confusion, interest, disgust and joy. We were invested.
In a The Cut article written by Mia Mercardo, she writes the following, offering an explanation as to why we were so interested in this process:
“Do you want to live vicariously through upper-middle-class opulence? Do you want to feel like you just went on a suburban-mall shopping spree with your college besties? Are you in search of something to satiate your yeehaw?”
Following Bama rush TikTok allowed me to re-live a version of myself I once was - and who I so desperately wanted to be.
A girl from the Philly-area going to Penn State and joining a sorority is not a unique story. And no matter how much I aim to be a unique, riveting shell of a person, it is my story.
I joined a sorority my sophomore year at Penn State and reveled in it. I danced on the elevated surfaces to Swedish House Mafia. I taught fraternity boys how to harmonize because our sorority wanted maintain our Greek Sing winning streak (we did). I learned what Lilly Pulitzer was and made multiple paddles. I learned the handshake and the “secret” songs.
I have no shame in sharing this cringe, because during that time I ate that shit up.
Watching Bama rush reminded me of those things. It also reminded me of how badly I wanted to transform myself. How badly I wanted to fit in, although the women I was surrounded by accepted me (and still do) as I am. But it wasn’t enough - I wanted to look like them. To be blonde, skinny, tanned, put together. Perfectly preppy, but still with a party girl edge, who could rock a pinny with a pair of neon pink shorts on underneath while still looking hot.
I would be extremely remiss to not mention that I have extremely supportive parents, which included financial support. It was them who funded my education, and in turn my jaunt into Greek life. I by no means intend to downplay the privilege and advantage that I had, when I say that during this time I met people who had money money. I was entering a new world. I experienced the dichotomy of being accepted, while still feeling like I fully didn’t fit in.
It wasn’t during my own recruitment process that I saw the initial negative side of being in a sorority, although I had been “warned” multiple times before (“They’re gonna haze you, you know.”).
No, instead it was when I became a recruitment counselor, also known as a Pi Chi (other schools may call this a Rho Gamma, Rho Chi, or Sigma Rho Gamma). It was my and about 100 other women’s responsibility to counsel and mentor these young PNMs through the recruitment process. We attempted to help them make sense and be at peace as to why - to put it plainly - they were rejected by their peers. We called girls early in the morning to tell them that they did not receive a bid and comfort them while they cried.
At one house - a house no one wanted to be in - a PNM told them that she was pregnant so that she wouldn’t be invited back. She was later expelled from the recruitment process.
This is likely one of the reasons we were invested in Bama TikTok - we love to hear a mean girl story.
While we could exchange stories of mean girl behavior and indulge in the stereotypes, we have to acknowledge the darker side of Greek life.
You don’t need me to tell you that Greek life as a whole has a multitude of problems it has yet to resolve - and in some cases even address. From sexual assault, rape culture, and racism, to exclusion based on physical appearance or financial status, and dangerous hazing - the list goes on. Google “problems with sororities,” and you’ll come across countless articles sharing the darker side of it, and I’m only scraping the surface here. With Penn State being a predominately white school (according to a College Factual report, it is 63.5% white), it’s safe to say our Greek life system wasn’t diverse.
Bama rush was a reminder of all of these things. While we were gandering at each #OOTD video, we had to remember what happens all too often behind the scenes.
A side-note suggestion: If you’re interested in diving into the “secrecy” of Greek life, I recommend reading Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities by Alexandra Robbins.
While Bama rush TikTok may have been something initially to scoff at, it did provide the opportunity to open a conversation about the flawed Greek life system and the entire higher education system as a whole. With this spectacle being broadcasted daily onto arguably the world’s most popular social media platform, it opened itself up to criticism.
I loved my sorority experience. Through it, I met an incredible and welcoming group of friends (I sound like the poster child for this, but my group of girlfriends is truly exceptional). Now at nearly 30 years of age, I do feel a bit silly to be writing about and reminiscing upon my “srat” years (if you want to stop reading now after reading that word, I completely understand, but hey you’ve made it this far). Things like Bama TikTok have me reconciling with something which I really loved, while knowing the issues behind it. There will still be young women who will rush and want to be a part of this, and they can have a better understanding of what they’re signing up for.
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